ShelfariI have been doing a lot of introspective thinking.
There are a lot of imbalances in my life, things that I need to inspect and reevaluate.
Specifically, this means my career and the choices I have made for one reason or another.
I kind of like helping people, particularly with their computer/network issues. I seem to have a knack for it, and I started learning a lot about it.
However, it seems that more and more I am not satisfied working in the IT field. There are too many reasons not to be satisfied with it. I still like working with computers, but the field is not one for me. It does not satisfy me anymore. I am not sure if it ever really did.
I was happiest, particularly in college, when I was taking Philosophy and History courses. I loved Medieval Studies as well.
Now I find that I like reading and writing, and books in general, much more than anything else. I love reading, owning and otherwise handling books. I love reading to Nathaniel, even though it seems that he has so many other things to interest him at this time. Such are children, he will come back to me soon, at least he has not abandoned books.
I feel as if I lost my way. I have Melissa and Nathaniel, and I would not trade that for anything, but I need to figure out the rest of my life.
Is there a way I can make my career focus more on Books, writing, reading or Philosophy? I hope to find out. I am going to try lots of things, as long as I can.
I also think a large part of my problem is that I am not really living my life, I am existing. I think I let my like for Computers and Networks translate into a form of escapism where I stay on the computer so long that I don’t do anything else. I fear that I am instilling that, at least in part, to my son. If we are going to get lost in something I feel it would be much better for it to be a good book.
This is a bit of rambling, something I needed to write. I hope that I will come back to this, take some parts of it, focus on those parts and be much more clear about it in future posts. I need to learn so many things, and no one ever has enough time. I certainly don’t. I must try. I have to take more control of my actions and do more to live and enjoy things.
I hope I succeed. I hope I bring enthusiasm to everything I do from now on. Even some mistakes. I am tired of being tired, it’s time to come alive again!
Blogging will hopefully increase, and I will look to make it much more efficient for me and my life. I don’t want to ditch the internet altogether. Hardly! Instead I want to make a personal social web where I can not only enjoy my time more, but I can also show others how much I enjoy it as well!
Look forward to Terence 2.0. I hope the upgrade goes much better than those put out by Microsoft =)
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